Thursday, July 23, 2009

test run

my reason for starting this blog is to have a place to record all of my random rants and megalomania. it's the same reason i started keeping a daily journal (i refuse to call it a diary). side bar: whenever you read biographies about cool famous people, they always have all these important quotations taken from their diary. how do they do that? mine was like jim's journal, only more boring and without pictures. do you ever think about what about your life would be put in a biography/movie about you? because this blog had better damn well feature prominently in both of mine once i'm rich and famous. however, i have promised annie that i wouldn't take myself too seriously, because she needs something to entertain herself with at work. plus i would feel like a douchebag if i tried to be all serious. anyway, i have all sorts of good random and revolutionary musings that i've tried to remember for when i did start this blog, but i'll just start with one for now.
i want to live forever, immortality seems like the coolest thing ever, and i fundamentally don't understand how the majority of people don't agree with this. in fact, i honestly don't even believe them when they tell me that, i think they just haven't thought about it enough. living is fun, and death is not, and that will always be the case. but the cool and new information about this is that apparently the lab that kristine works for is doing research into aging. fantastically, it's not research about causing aging, but actually how to stop it. so she said i could totally get an internship there next summer. so we'll see who i deign to share my immortality potion with once i discover it's secret after you all denied that you wanted it in the first place. the other cool thing about immortality that i recently discovered is that there's this thing called calorie restriction that has been repeatedly proven to work pretty well towards preventing aging. (just not in humans yet) just by cutting calorie intake by 20%, everything about you functions better as you get older. you look younger, your brain works better, you stay stronger longer. how cool is that? i am convinced that my mom has known about this for years, she eats like a bird, like a giant bird, and she looks like she's about 30 years old and she could totally beat me up. too bad for the rest of america, you fatties.
look at those monkies and tell me which you'd rather be....exactly.


  1. monkies? i can't see those images for some reason. i'm sure i can guess though-- an emaciated monkie and an obese monkie?

    non-aging is called negligible senescence, a song has been written about it:

    check it out.

    first post grade B+ not enough pictures.

  2. i can't see the pictures either.

    also, if you live forever then there is, essentially, nothing to be scared of. and if you're not scared of anything, your entire livelihood is thrown into despair. every decision you make has to to be, in some way, a result of you knowing of your own imminent demise.

    but if you find that potion, i want in on it. i won't share it with annie.